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Thursday, July 16th, 2009
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5:17 am - Rawr
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If your goal is to punish DP members – which I really don’t believe it is – then you can discount this. However, on the off chance that is your goal, in defense of the DP members, the people who wanted to continue coming to the raids weren’t even on at the time of the vote and would have only stayed out of the raid for fear of being booted from their guild. As our Ulduar 25 man’s now stand, we have more people who want to go than we have spots for. Who gets priority? As someone who is not in Prolific nor DP, I am only interested in the raid as a whole. What I saw last night had me slightly irritated. I realize that you want Prolific members to get priority, but how do you justify bringing in a new recruit over someone who has been here almost every night for the last two months? 25 man is not the place to be testing anyone, especially if we find out that they don’t know the fights. I am probably one of the few people that doesn’t care about my repair bill and could wipe all night and still have fun. However, if I can understand a fight, I feel that anyone can. No one is a bigger ditz than me. If they don’t understand the fight, why are they there? We are wiping when we could have had someone in the raid that knows what they’re doing and would have been an asset. How do you justify bringing in a Prolific member that none of us has seen for months over someone in DP who’s been here almost every night? Because they’re in Prolific? I realize that the guild is your baby, however, your guildie abandoned us and you. They conveniently disappeared around the time Ulduar came out and now suddenly they’re back. Maybe it’s coincidence, but either way, it doesn’t look good for them. When you brought in the Vet rolls and people complained that they didn’t have one, your response was, “Yeah, you had great attendance in Naxx. Where have you been for Ulduar?” I am asking the same thing. Congratulations, Mr. Prolific Member, I remember seeing you around a lot for Naxx, but where have you been for Ulduar? The answer is ultimately NOT HERE. Whereas, DP members have been here. With the introduction of Veteran rolls and encouragement for attendance, by taking Prolific members who we’ve never seen or haven’t seen in months and giving them a spot over the people who have been attending but aren’t in Prolific nor can they be, it’s sending a mixed message. You are getting the attendance you want, but then you’re turning around and slapping some people in the face by saying Prolific members have priority just because they’re in the guild. If this is truly a raid with progression as the goal then the priority should go to those with the attendance. I am happy to agree that Prolific members should get invites first – if they’ve been here. If they haven’t been here, honestly, they aren’t helpful or even beneficial. They are a hindrance and should be sent to your 10 man’s in order to learn the fights and where we don’t have to stop the raid in order to explain it to them and ensure they aren’t going to wipe us. In much the same way the I earned the rights to get shards over healers in Prolific, I feel that some people have earned rights over Prolific members to have a spot in the raid. In my mind, this is who has priority (myself and Morrissa not included because we’re just there): 1. Prolific members who’ve been attending raids regularly 2. DP members who’ve been attending regularly 3. Any other regulars (like Mez or Nathon) 4. Prolific members that we haven’t seen since Naxx 5. DP members we haven’t seen since Naxx 6. Prolific new recruits (Unless they’ve been raiding with us for a time already) 7. DP members we’ve never seen 8. PUGs However, you are awarding spots simply because one is in Prolific, not because they have been here helping us. I realize that you have an obligation to your guild, but at the same time your guildies should have an obligation to you as well: you asked them to be here for Ulduar, and they were not. Others rose up to help you out so that we could get into Ulduar and start making it through. Now those who were there to help are being asked to step aside so that someone who hasn’t helped us at all can come in and take up some space. If you’re goal is not progression, but to make this a purely Prolific run, then that’s fine. However, you have stated that this is a progression run. If that’s the case, why does Mihimaru sit over Kudan? Why did Angrylitlman almost come in over, again, Mihimaru/Jaltis? Honestly, that last example is what has me writing this. Now, I like Angry, and knew and ran with him before I even joined the Prolific raids. However, he hasn’t been here in Ulduar with us. I haven’t seen him in months – not on my friend’s list and not in Prolific channel. That so many people were asking for him to come in over Mihimaru, who asked for an invite when they went out, who has sat multiple times now for others, quite simply makes no sense to me. Last night I even thought it was rude. I know you as much as the rest of us want to get through Ulduar. We shouldn’t be sitting the people who have helped us get there in favor of people who haven’t been in unless we have the space for them. When you have 30 regulars who want to go one night and you put it in someone who hasn’t even been in, it looks like you don’t appreciate what they’ve helped us all accomplish. If one night you were to tell me that you have a new recruit, they’re a healer, and they’re to take my spot for the night, honestly I’d be a little put out. I would take it personally. I invest my time with you because I like Prolific, and DP too, and I enjoy spending my evenings raiding with you guys. If you were to tell me that, and to tell me that they have a spot simply because they’re in Prolific, it would be a blow to my esteem. It would mean that I mean nothing to you because I’m not in your guild. But I’m as much a person as those in your guild, as is anyone else in the raid. We have all invested our time with you. We have all put in many more hours that just the raid times because we had to go out and farm hundreds of gold to pay for our repair bills at the end of the night and go only one or two bosses down to show for it. Why should that be cast aside, why should it mean nothing, just because someone “is in Prolific?” I love your guild and I love the people in it, and I consider myself a member even if I don’t have the tag under my name. When alts need gear, I’m there healing Naxx 10 for them. I am happy to help out. I’m also happy to help out DP when they’re running their monthly Naxx 25, just as they’re happy to help out Prolific with some of their alts or toons who were unable to attend Ulduar 10 when we need people. It’s a nice relationship. Honestly, I don’t think it’s unfair to ask some Prolific members to sit over DP people who’ve been attending 25 man with us unless they can offer more justification than “I’m in Prolific.” Earn a spot, don’t just expect one because you think you’re special. When you were deciding how to deal with fragments, your solution was to pick the person with the highest attendance to give them to. You didn’t simply give them to a Prolific healer because they’re in Prolific. Why not give out raid spots the same way? We’re not ready yet to carry new people through unless we have to. Why force it? In the end it only means we progress less, when we could be heading forward. If the goal is progression, then let’s go for it. Either way, people are going to be unhappy because they’re not in and someone else is. But, in much the same way that Carmuh and Yoseketh were all for me getting shards, I would think people would understand that someone who has put it in more than them has earned more than them.
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| Friday, April 18th, 2008
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1:28 am - My Celebrity Look-alikes
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| Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
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1:03 am - Resolve to be thyself...
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I never visit this thing anymore. Hell, the last thing I wrong in here... was a New Year's Resolution I didn't think I would keep last year:
"Resolve to be thyself; and know that who finds himself, loses his misery." - Matthew Arnold
I'm still fighting to figure out who I want to be and where I want to go with school, but I did do a couple things right. I got away from that terrible school I went to, but most importantly I stood my ground when my parents told me no, I could not meet the man who has always been there in the darkest times in my life, the man I stopped talking to for years because THEY wanted me to. I went anyway. I couldn't have been happier that I went. "No" just means I'm doing it without your support to me now.
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12:19 am - My Celebrity Look-alikes
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| Tuesday, November 27th, 2007
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1:59 pm - Devious Journal Entry
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| Monday, January 1st, 2007
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2:29 am - 2007
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Old, old friend.
I can't tell you how much I hate the new year because I know it will be the same as last year. I can't tell you how much I hate the new year... because I have no one to tell, and my mood only darkens as I realize that I have no one to cheer up my unhappy outlook at the beginning of the year.
I need a year different from all the rest, but I won't get one because I refuse to change.
I'd make a resolution - the only one I'd make - but I know it's one that I won't keep, so I won't lie to myself. However, I leave it for everyone else:
"Resolve to be thyself; and know that he who finds himself loses his misery." - Matthew Arnold (I'm guessing the last name from memory because I'm not looking it up right now.)
current music: Listen to the Rain by Evanescence
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| Thursday, October 26th, 2006
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12:36 am
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All I have to say about all the art classes I ever took in school is... fuck that.
I think, maybe, after looking through all of my old sketch books I have something to prove to myself: I can have a concentration, and I can make something worthwhile. I can make a lot of somethings worthwhile.
It always feels like I've got something to prove to myself. Well, I do. I couldn't do it in school so I'll do it now.
current music: Enemy by Fozzy
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| Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
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4:57 am
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Hello, old friend.
It's truly disorienting to know exactly what you want, exactly who you, and then to completely lose that knowledge. I'm lost somewhere, desperately searching the depths of myself to discover who I am now. I know that I won't find the person I was. I can't even see her. I expected to lose her... but not like this. I gained something I wanted, and at the same time lost something I didn't want to lose. Balance. I've always believed in balance. I like things even, but was this balance worth it, I wonder. Is the knowledge I gained worth that which I lost? Are my talents now worth what I can longer do? I wonder. Yes or no? The answer isn't always so simple.
They used to be easy. It feels as if I hadn't studied, and I supposed in a way I haven't. In order to know what one wants, a person must first know himself.
I need to get reacquainted somehow. Soon, preferably.
current mood: pensive current music: Shadow by The Murmurs
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| Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
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9:17 pm - Soundtrack of My Life
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Opening credit: Stand My Ground by Within Temptation
Waking up: Ready When You Are by Brighten
Average day: Anything But Ordinary by Michelle Branch
First Date: It's About Time by Lillix
Falling in love: Nothing But You by Kim Ferron
Fight scene: Stall by Sarge
Breaking up: Jezebel by Sade
Getting back together: Wonderwall by Oasis
Secret love: Heaven's Not Enough by Steven Conte
Life's okay: Understanding in a Car Crash by Thursday
Mental breakdown: Nowhere Kids by Smile Empty Soul
Driving: Almost There, Going Nowhere by the Starting Line
Learning a lesson: Smile, You've One by Lydia
Deep thought: Full of Grace by Sarah McLaughlan
Flashback: Almost Perfect by Ingram Hill
Party time: A Torch by Sarge
Happy dance: Que Sera Sera by Doris Day
Regreting: Atlas Shrugged by Patti Scialfa
Long night alone: Again and Again by Jewel
Death scene: Never-Ending Story by Within Temptation
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| Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
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9:16 pm
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"A girl who's interested in money and clothes, I mean, I don't know whether, you know, she'll satisfy my intellectual needs." - H. M. Murdock
"...my mind and body were a unit, and [...] my body responded to the values of my mind." - Hank Rearden
What excuse is there?
"Why did I love her? Because it was her; because it was me." - Montaigne
There is no excuse. There's only reasons. I have nothing to excuse myself for.
~J Po
current music: It Doesn't Matter by Alison Krauss
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| Saturday, April 22nd, 2006
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4:52 am
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I don't have a word for this... and I want to find one.
What's that feeling where, when you get a bad news shock, parts of your body just start to tingle - and not in a sleepy kind of way? Kind of like a chill, but nothing cold and it doesn't make you jittery. It makes you still, actually. I think I've heard some people call it a "numbing" feeling... but without cold. And it's not that warm feeling tingle you get when they put you to sleep with drugs. There's no temperature to it. It's just... dread tingles. From torso to legs.
What makes a person "tingle" anyway?
~J Po
current music: Gomenasai by t.A.T.u.
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| Tuesday, April 18th, 2006
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9:26 pm
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Not much pisses me off nowadays... but getting blown off does. Hello, I'm an amazing friend. I don't have many friends because I don't want to have say hi to fifty people in the hallway. I don't want my phone ringing all the time. I'm loyal to the ones I have and I'm good. I fit on their schedules every now and then, but I can never get them on mine. I just go by them.
Well, thanks, but no thanks. I will not be used and I will not wait for your fuckers to decide it's my turn. I'd rather spend time by myself.
~J Po
current music: Mr. Vain by Culture Beat
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9:19 pm
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I never pay much attention in 2nd period, but DeZwart did make me wonder about something... why is it professional athletes get paid more than school teachers? For as much as people complain that our government and our economy and our overall country is fucked up, I thought we had a pretty good system going. But, we're hypocrites, aren't we? Everyone keeps putting education as number one, but teachers don't get jack. Everyone is really putting entertainment first. We our people who want others to amuse us, not educate us.
I think there is something majorly wrong in this world. The same way there's something wrong in Ayn Rand's books... but sometimes you can't quite place it until you're halfway through the book or more. Well, there's something wrong here, and I have a vague idea as to what it is... but it's not anything I have words for and nothing I can see clearly. Just - something's wrong. And it's going to get worse until everyone's trying to entertain instead of trying to learn.
Now I know I've never been a big advocator of public education - and I'm still not - because school is a crock. But education isn't. And people nowadays are just fucking STUPID. And getting stupider. And we encourage it.
~J Po
current music: Girl From Mars by Ash
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| Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
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11:04 pm
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I feel little to no need at all to write in this thing anymore. All I have to say is J Po has a man and J Po's freakin' happy.
~J Po
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| Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
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8:17 pm
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I always pictured myself as the kind of person who would be content to stay at home, who didn't want to travel and see the world. Then again, I always thought academics meant something. Now I'm restless and staying out until 12 on school nights - after going to school, after going to work. And I'm getting pieces of myself back. Of the person who was happy and not quite cynical about everything.
I still wanna say fuck college, but I don't think work's gonna kill me now.
~J Po
current music: The Kids Aren't Alright by the Offspring
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| Wednesday, March 15th, 2006
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9:12 pm
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"And he says how cool it would be just to get out of this place and take off. Because it's about being free." - Crazy by Benjamin Lebert
This struck a cord when I read it. It resonated. I underlined it and everything. Now I'm numb to it. It doesn't resonate anymore. I just recognize it as something I wanted once.
I've committed suicide and I am still alive. I'm gonna kill myself for five years and hope I remember to stop.
current music: My Life by 12 Stones
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| Monday, March 13th, 2006
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1:25 pm
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( Art: Scream )
( Art: Deformity )
I hope I've locked enough of myself away to keep me safe while I live in this world I've followed everyone else into. This isn't me. I know it's not. Yet, here I am. I don't want to lose myself here. Because I can't stay.
~J Po
current music: A Torch by Sarge
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| Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
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7:09 am
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I wish I'd remembered sooner that, oh yeah, I don't need another math class and - since I have it first period - I CAN DROP THE DAMN CLASS. It only took me 3/4 of the school year to realize that.
~J Po
current music: End of the World by The Living End
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| Friday, March 3rd, 2006
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6:34 am
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What better person to quote than Jess Mariano from Gilmore Girls?
"I don't know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life, but something's telling me I better find out soon or I'm gonna be that guy out there on the boardwalk selling the hemp hats."
~J Po
current music: Mr. Vain by Culture Beat
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| Saturday, February 11th, 2006
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3:30 pm
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"The most important motive for work in the school and in life is the pleasure in work, in its result and the knowledge of the value of the result to the community." - Albert Einstein
The man was a genius - and he's still right.
Do you want to know why school is painful now, hated, loathed, despised? Because we know that what we're learning - the majority of it, anyway - has no value to our life. So thanks for nothing. I'll learn on my own.
~J Po
current music: Cardboard Castles by Diana Degarmo
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